


If You Think Adventure is Dangerous, Try Routine. It is Lethal.

by FateSJN



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, M/M, Marine Biologist Yixing, Merman Jongdae
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-16
Updated: 2017-09-16
Packaged: 2018-12-30 08:32:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,549
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12104796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FateSJN/pseuds/FateSJN
Summary: For Prompt # 421: Merman!au. Yixing have always loved and believed in fairytales. Since he was little his grandma used to told him stories about princess and dragons, elfs and ogres, krakens and mermaids, Yixing was in his own world. That is until he grown up to discover that said stories aren't real and that the real world isn't as amazing he thought. However, his love for the ocean increased so he ended being a marine biologist. One day, he was up to register some whales noises when a storm hit his ship. Yixing in an attempt to save his work, couldn't make it to the surface and just when he thought everything was lost for him, he saw him. Yixing was saved by a beautiful, graceful and mystic creature.>> so yeah, Merman Jongdae saves Yixing from drowning.





	If You Think Adventure is Dangerous, Try Routine. It is Lethal.

**Author's Note:**

> The titles of the books are just some chinese songs I listen to. Jessica is in the tags, but in the story I used the chinese pronunciation of her name, Xiu Yan. There is Jackson, Wang Jia Er. The other character are also chinese celebrities.  
> I'm sorry to the prompter. I didn't flesh out the full story, but I scrapped some so it was a bit rushed. And also I realized it was way more Yixing centric when this is a chenpionship fanfic. Sorry again.

_September 21, 1992_

_Naksan Beach_

_Today I have returned to the shores of Naksan. As the bell tolled, the shore resonated once more with the ethereal voice I first heard forty-six years ago. I rowed out into the waters and there he was floating in the waters. I called out to him and his laughter filled my ears. There, in the offing he was just as carefree and joyful as the last time we meet. Even though it has been well over forty years, he had barely aged a single year. Of course, a merfolk does not age the same as humans, just as time does not dictate their lives. To him I had merely been away for a brief period of time. My first friend and the first merfolk I met, Jong –_

 

“You’re reading that book again huh? You always did love when I read to you, Yixing-ah.”

“I still love when you read to me Grandma,” said Yixing.

His grandmother set the tea kettle on the coffee table. “You’re done with lecturing students?” She asked.

Yixing closed the book and ran his fingers across the binding, _Within Your Circumference_. “Yeah.”

“You staying the summer?”

“No, I’m leaving for Shanghai in a week,” he said.

The aroma of tea filled the room as his grandmother filled their cups. “Well, why don’t you join Grandma on our favorite adventures before you leave.”

Yixing headed over to the couch. “Which entry?” He asked.

“Naksan and Lantau,” she reached her hand out for the book, “you always lit up at the merfolk.”

Yixing handed the book over and sat down. “I just read those,” he chuckled.

“Of course you did,” she shook her head and sighed dramatically, “trust your own grandson to leave you behind on an adventure.”

Yixing chuckled and shook his head. “It’s just a story Grandma.”

“Of course,” she said with a tight-lipped smile, “now let’s get started, shall we.”

 

Yixing hated letting people down, but it was just a story. It would always be just a story. Stories that were his childhood, but he is an adult. Yixing had waited for the lies he told himself to come true. It was the worst kind of waiting, the kind that consumed him. It was all that gave his aimless life meaning, but he could not wait anymore. He had wanted something that could never come into existence. He wasn’t a foolish child anymore.

 

Leaving behind the fairy tales was easy for Yixing, but leaving the part of himself that found love, joy, and hope in those fairy tales had broken him. He’d thrown away the only thing that gave his aimless life meaning and the pain sunk him, but he’d learn to swim to the surface. He had to. You have to bear the lifestyle you chose for yourself. Yixing had, he became a marine biologist. The only creatures he’d find were those in the deep sea.

By the end of the week, Yixing had gone through all the fairy tales with his grandmother. 

 

“Have a safe trip Yixing-ah,” said his grandmother.

Yixing hugged her with his free arm and said, “I will, take care of yourself while I’m gone and feel free to call me.”

“Grandma’s been taking care of herself since before you were born,” she said.

“I know Grandma,” Yixing smiles and shakes his head gently. “I’ll miss you.”

“Ey, you’ll be back in a month,” she said, waving her hand up and down.

“I thought we were being sentimental now,” Yixing said as he separated from their embrace.

 

His grandmother smiled lightly at him and bid him farewell for the next month. By the time Yixing arrived at his apartment in Shanghai, he felt too tired to do anything other than sleep. The morning after, he woke up with just enough time to grab his bag and leave for the research facility. He’d been gone for a couple of weeks so his pantry was empty but luckily, he could count on his colleagues to let him steal a few bites of their breakfast.

 

“Hey man, get your own food.”

“Don’t be stingy Jia Er, you steal bites from us all the time.”

“Thanks, Xiao Xiao,” said Yixing in between chewing.

“You going to get groceries soon?”

“Oh,” Jia Er said through cupped hands, “is Yixing-ge getting scolded by Xiu Yan-jie.”

“No and Jia Er, don’t be stingy,” said Xiu Yan.

“Xing-ge, you’re in charge of fieldwork this month, right?” Asked Cheng Xiao.

“Yeah, I’ll be up at the crack of dawn just for you guys,” said Yixing as he patted her hair.

“Good luck man,” Jia Er patted Yixing on his behind.

“If you find a new species and become the next Jacques Cousteau don’t forget about your buddies.”

“It’s just some routine fieldwork. I’m not going to find anything,” responded Yixing.

 

Cheng Xiao rolled over in her swivel chair, knocking into Jia Er in the process. “Hey, you never know, and if you find the dragon turtle then you better tell me. Or else I’ll, uh, I’ll –” Jia Er cut her off with a light kick to her chair, effectively swiveling her into the desk.

 

“You don’t have to do anything Xiao Xiao,” Yixing said with a giggle. “Besides, you can’t find what doesn’t exist.”

“You also can’t prove a negative,” said Xiu Yan, her gaze never leaving her screen once. “Good luck,” she said to Yixing.

 

Yixing smiled and waved at her. He turns to wave at Jia Er and Cheng Xiao before heading out, but they’re too busy bickering over Cheng Xiao’s obsession over the folklore fantasy genre. Yixing shook his head at them fondly and headed to the dock. It was routine fieldwork, collecting some samples, heading back to record the data and then he’d call it a day. Routine fieldwork, just like any other day.

 

It was only supposed to be a small field research and he’d return with the water sample and some mussels and call it a day. He’d finished collecting the mussels and sampling the water, but then the NOAA system had caught a signal further out in the offing and Yixing couldn’t just return without some data. Maybe he’d find the dragon turtle Cheng Xiao talked about. Yixing stifled a laugh and checked the stats. The waves were moderate and there weren’t any signs of severe weather. When he’d arrived, the signals had disappeared.

 

“Of course, there’s nothing here,” Yixing sighed. “The system probably picked up signs of something else.”

 

Yixing went to turn the boat around when out of nowhere a wave appeared, a rogue wave. The ship plunged into the trough and tilted to one side, throwing Yixing against the bulkhead in the process. Yixing grabbed his data and rushed to the ships lifeboat and disconnected the line to slide it off deck. Yixing grasped the fender and attempted to board, but his grip was loosened by a third wave. The wave submerged him underwater. Desperate, Yixing thrashed is limbs to surface and gasped for air. He attempted to swim over, but the waves were too strong and he could not reach the lifeboat. After a few minutes of futile attempt Yixing could not hold his breath any longer, but this time he was unable to surface. He slowly starts to lose consciousness until he blacked out.

 

* * *

 

 

Yixing woke to the taste of salt on the breeze. He cracked open an eye and immediately lifted his arms to shield his eyes from the blaring sunlight. Resting his palm on his forehead, Yixing contemplated the occurrences after the rogue waves submerged his ship. A splash on the right alerted him of the predicament that he was in. He was alone in the middle of the ocean on a lifeboat with no other resources. Sighing Yixing attempted to look for hints as to how far away from shore he was and took in his surroundings.

 

No sign of land for miles. Yixing flails his arms around to gain the stranger’s attention.

He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “What are you doing out there, it’s dangerous. Get on this boat”

Yixing waited for a response and when he saw no change in the stranger’s facial expression or body language he yelled again,

“You alright? Need help getting here?”

 

No response. Maybe the stranger couldn’t hear him properly and he’s just trying to figure out what was going on. Yixing motioned to the stranger that he’d row over to him. He reached for the rudder when there was a sudden load splash. The stranger was gone. Yixing wondered if he’d hallucinated everything, until it hit him. The man could have sunk because of a cramp or was dragged under by a sea creature. Yixing dunked his head in the water to look for the man, but there he did not see a trace. He pulled his head out of the water and sighed to himself as he ran his hands through his drenched hair. Maybe he really was hallucinating.

 

The boat tilted to the left suddenly and Yixing turned to see what caused it when he was meet with the face of the stranger from before. Yixing startled and upon closer inspection the man had not shirt on. Even though it was summer, the ocean was freezing. He went to grab at the stranger to lift him onto the lifeboat, but the man flailed around and tried to get out of Yixing’s grip.

 

“I’m just trying to help you onto the boat. I’m not trying to hurt you,” Yixing said. His words had no influence as the man did not cease flailing in his hold. Through much difficulty Yixing pulled the man over the edge and onto the lifeboat. Even with such a slim build the man was a lot heavier than Yixing expected. As he took in the state the other man was in, Yixing froze. He was void of any article of clothing and his lower body was that of an eel.

 

“A merman.”

The merman continued to flail as if trying to escape the boat and realization hit Yixing, he just pulled him out of the water. Merfolk lived in the sea.

Yixing stumbled about, trying to help him back into the sea. “I- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to do that- I mean.”

“It’s okay”

“Yeah, I really didn’t expect –” Yixing froze. The merman responded. In words.

“I – uh, how,” Yixing paused before he spoke again, “you can speak.”

The merman tilted his head to the side. “Yes,” he said as if it was obvious.

“How?”

“Xue Fu,” said Jongdae.

Yixing nodded, “Xue Fu, right.” Xue Fu, the snow lotus. “The snow lotus?” Yixing breathed out.

“Yeah”

“I – ” said Yixing. “You –” he pointed at the merman.

“Me?” The merman’s gaze followed Yixing’s finger and pointed at himself. “Ah – me, Jongdae.”

“You’re Jongdae.” Yixing ran his fingers through his hair. “Xue Fu. Jongdae.”

Jongdae nodded and stared at Yixing, who continued to mutter to himself while rubbing his neck raw.

Jongdae pointed his finger to Yixing and said, “you.”

“Me,” said Yixing and he furrowed his brows. “Yixing,” he replied hurriedly.

“Yixing” repeated Jongdae.

 

Yixing nodded and opened his mouth only to press his lips together when he had nothing to say. All that could be heard were the sloshing of the waves and the rumbling of his stomach. He hadn’t eaten a bite since the he left the research facility.

 

“Food?” asked Jongdae.

“Oh, I don’t have any. I have,” Yixing turned to rummage through the ditch bag, “first aid and –”

 

With a splash, Jongdae had disappeared into the sea. Yixing rubbed at his neck and let out a sigh. He wondered if Jongdae was hungry. He’d never read about what merfolk ate. Other than the occasional horror stories of man-eating merfolk. Yixing shuddered at the image. Jongdae wouldn’t, he looked so friendly and innocent. Not the type to eat someone they’d just met. A sudden thump of something hitting the surface of the boat brought Yixing out of his contemplations. He turned to see a bunch of seaweed dropped on board.

 

Yixing he scrunched his brows and looked at Jongdae, who just smiled at him.

“Seaweed” said Yixing.

Jongdae nodded. “Food,” he said and he gestured at Yixing and back to the seaweed.

“Of course, you won’t eat humans,” Yixing let out a breath, “Oh, uh, I can’t eat that.”

Jongdae tilted his head to the side and stared at Yixing. “Not food?” He asked.

“No,” Yixing shook his hands frantically, “it’s food.”

“Don’t like seaweed?” Jongdae asked as he picked up the seaweed and stretched his arm out toward Yixing.

 

“No, I like seaweed,” said Yixing. At this point it wasn’t a matter of what he disliked, but of the fact that he was having a fucking conversation with a merfolk. Well Jongdae only spoke in a couple words at a time, but Yixing doubted he’d learned human language as a child. There was also the issue that Yixing actually couldn’t just up and eat the seaweed raw. He’d have to wash and boil it first. There were some water rations in the kit, but it’d be wasted if he used it all on boiling the seaweed.

 

“I don’t have enough water to boil it,” he said.

“Water,” said Jongdae who proceeded to gesture at the sea.

Yixing chuckled and responded, “I can’t drink seawater.”

Jongdae shook his head. “No drinking, just cook.”

 

It was true, he didn’t have to drink the seawater. He didn’t have any cups or bowls to desalinate the water, but he could just use it to boil the food. Yixing nodded at Jongdae and began to prepare the seaweed. While he waited for the water to boil, Yixing decided to talk to Jongdae and maybe get some answers to the thousands of inquiries he had toward the other. The other rested his arms on the edge and stared idly at Yixing.

 

“You mentioned Xue Fu taught you Chinese,” said Yixing.

Jongdae nodded.

“Do you know Zhi Qian then?”

Jongdae tilted his head to the side and shook his head.

“So, it was a coincidence,” Yixing said as he lowered his gaze with a tight-lipped smile.

“Qian,” Jongdae said as he looked off into the distance for a few seconds before he abruptly turned to face Yixing. “Qian Qian,” he said with a bright smile and bobbed his head with such force the water on his hair hit Yixing’s face.

 

Yixing lifted his arm to block the stray water droplets and chuckled. He let out a breath, it wasn’t a coincidence. Jongdae knew the two lovers from _The Flower and the Youth_. They were real. Yixing watched as Jongdae laughed along with him. He looked into Jongdae’s eyes and for the first time in his life, Yixing felt as though he was truly being seen. He didn’t know if Jongdae looked at everyone like that, but he was glad to be seen like that. Yixing felt giddy as he bent over laughing freely. He felt like he was seven again. Laughing over absolutely everything and nothing at all.

 

When the seaweed was done, Yixing turned to offer some of his seaweed to Jongdae. He declined and just grabbed a handful of raw seaweed and chewed. Their breakfast went by peacefully, with the sloshing of waves and gentle sea breeze. As the breeze picked up, Yixing started to shudder. His clothes were not fully dry yet and he’d freeze if the wind picked up speed.

 

“Hot?” Asked Jongdae as Yixing took off his shirt and trousers.

“The opposite actually,” said Yixing through chattered teeth. “It’s freezing.”

Jongdae stared at Yixing with furrowed brows. Yixing understood that Jongdae was just confused, but he couldn’t help chuckle at the thought that Jongdae was unabashedly watching him undress.

Jongdae tilted his head to the side and asked, “freezing is funny?”

Yixing burst out laughing.

“No, no, it’s not that.” Yixing said as he shook his head.

“It’s just funny how normally a person would be considered a pervert for watching someone undress,” he said as he wrapped the blanket around himself.

“Undress?”

“Yeah, like no clothes, naked.”

Jongdae covered his chest with his arms and squeaked. “It’s bad?”

At this point, Yixing didn’t know if he’d be able to stop laughing. Well, he could say he’d worked his abdominal muscles a bit. Yixing’s laughter toned down the perplexed state Jongdae was in.

“It’s funny.” Jongdae lowered his arms and grinned at Yixing. “Good, good.”

“Well, no,” said Yixing in between laughs, “but I guess it wouldn’t really matter for you.”

 

The sun had set by the time Yixing’s clothes dried. Other than asking Jongdae random things, Yixing hadn’t done much. He should have been figuring out which way to sail, but it’s not every day that you’re saved by a merfolk.

 

“Hey, Jongdae.”

Jongdae ceased his splashing and turned his gaze to Yixing.

“How many people have you saved from drowning?”

Jongdae looked up in thought before he answered, “I don’t know.”

“What a hero,” Yixing said as he chuckled.

“Did you save someone called Sheng Xi?” He asked.

Jongdae perked up at the mention of her name and nodded enthusiastically. “You know Xi Xi?”

 

So, it was him. Jongdae was the merman she had written about in _Within Your Circumference_. Yixing shook his head.

Jongdae hummed in acknowledgment.

“Huh,” Jongdae leaned on the edge. “You know Xue Fu, Qian Qian, and, Xi Xi. Their names.”

Yixing nodded. He did know their names, but only from the books. This confused Jongdae even more.

 

“But you don’t know Xi Xi.”

“I know of her, but I don’t know her.” Yixing let out a sigh.

“She wrote a book about you and I read that book.”

“She wrote,” Jongdae said as he leaned even closer. “About me?”

Yixing nodded. “About you.”

Jongdae gasped. “Why? What about? You read it?”

 

Yixing nodded his head once more and chuckled.

“Well, she wrote about your adventure together. How you first met and when you parted.”

Jongdae’s face lit up and smiled. “My friend.”

“Yeah,” responded Yixing as he gazed at Jongdae. Jongdae, whose eyes glistened like the moonlight sixteen years ago.

Yixing shifted and leaned closer to the edge. “How come there haven’t been any reports about merfolk then?”

 

Jongdae opened his mouth, but didn’t speak. He tilted his head to the side in thought.

“Humans can’t see us,” he said.

“But I’m looking at you right now,” Yixing said.

Jongdae pouted his lips and dipped lower into the sea. “Because,” he paused. “I showed you. Our realm. And you believe.”

“That’s it?” Asked Yixing.

Jongdae pouted his lips even more and scrunched his brows in thought. “Ah, I don’t know,” he whined.

“Sorry,” Yixing chuckled. “I was just curious.”

Jongdae nodded and smiled as he went back to pushed himself back up.

“If you want, you can ask Xue Fu,” said Jongdae. “She knows more.”

“I don’t know her.”

“I swam here to see her. Yixing can come too,” said Jongdae.

“Okay.”

 

As the night wore on, Yixing thought of the books on his grandmother’s shelves. Yixing began to wonder how many of those so-called fairy tales were not just some work of fiction, but actual experiences. The boy who dirtied his hands to cultivate the lotuses and befriended their guardian in _The Flower and the Youth_ or the wandering musician who took in the young fox spirit in _A Song Not Written for Anyone_. How many more had found a part of themselves in those stories? How many cut that part of themselves when they caved in to the pressure of society? He didn’t know the answer so he let sleep take over so he could deal with it later.

 

* * *

 

 

By the next dawn, Jongdae had finished picking seaweed for Yixing and waited for the human to awaken. As he waited, Jongdae swam in circles around the boat and kept away the mean fishes. He was a hero, whatever it was that Yixing said. In the midst of circling the boat, Jongdae noticed waves drawing closer and when he dived under he caught a glimpse, but he couldn’t make out what it was. He swam closer and gaped, it was Wei Long. The young dragon’s motions created waves, but Yixing was sleeping on the boat.

 

“Wei Long”

“Oh, Jongdae,” responded Wei Long.

“Can you take another route? If you keep going this way you’ll throw Yixing off the boat,” Jongdae said.

“Yixing? A human?” he asked.

Jongdae nodded and said, “His ship turned over from the waves earlier so he got on a boat.”

“Okay, how far do I have to go?” Asked Wei Long.

Jongdae paused for a bit and said, “I’ll swim with you.”

Yixing was still asleep and Jongdae swam fast. He’d be fine if Jongdae left him for a short swim.

 

Above sea, Yixing had stirred from the swaying of the boat. With a deep yawn Yixing sat up and rubbed his eyes. He opened his eye to the bare minimum and looked around him. There was seaweed hanging on the side. Jongdae probably left it there, but he was nowhere to be seen. Maybe he went for a swim. Yixing went to prepare the seaweed.

 

It’s been five minutes according to the watch Yixing found in the ditch bag. He chewed his breakfast leisurely and stared off into the distance. He pondered about how he’d explain this to his colleagues. He knew the location where the ship had been, but he wasn’t sure if it’d still be there. Yixing let out a deep sigh and continued to chew. He did manage to find a merman, but Jongdae said humans couldn’t see him and something about their realm.

 

“I wonder what Xue Fu’s like,” he said.

Off in the distance, Yixing spotted Jongdae and waved. He waved back and dived into the sea again.

“You’re awake,” Jongdae said.

Yixing hummed and offered some seaweed to him. Jongdae shook his head.

“I already ate. You sleep a lot.”

Yixing snorted. He was tired and to be honest Jongdae probably only thought that because he had nothing to do while he waited.

“I forgot to ask, but do you know which way I need to head to get back to land?”

Jongdae nodded and leaned closer. “Do you want to go see Xue Fu?”

Yixing smiled. He did want to meet her.

“Not yet, I have to tell my friends that I’m alive.”

“Okay, I’ll push your boat to land,” Jongdae said.

 

Yixing wasn’t as far out as he’d expected, though it was still further than he should have been. Yixing hopped onto the shore and turned to pull the lifeboat up.

“Yixing, when do you want to see Xue Fu?”

Yixing paused. The ship had sunk, but it wasn’t the only one their group had. It was one of the smaller ones too. They’d probably give him a day or two off from fieldwork after this incident.

“I’ll be here the next dawn,” he said.

“Next dawn. Meet here?” Jongdae asked.

Yixing nodded in affirmation. “Until the next dawn.”

 

Jongdae smiled and waved at Yixing. Yixing chuckled and waved back as he headed for his apartment. When he checked his phone, he’d received twenty missed calls from his friends and the staff. He called Xiu Yan to reassure her he wasn’t dead. He’d get an earful, but at least he didn’t lose the samples and data, even though they were just routine fieldwork data. After taking a shower and getting a change of clothes, Yixing grabbed his case and headed to the research facility. He handed in the data and filed some paperwork before he headed back to the office. The moment Yixing stepped into the room he was tackled by Jia Er and Cheng Xiao.

 

“Ge, we thought we would never see you again,” said Jia Er and Cheng Xiao nodded in agreement. Yixing chuckled and patted their heads.

“Rogue waves?” Asked Xiu Yan.

 

Yixing nodded and told them everything from routine to the signals further out and how he got back. He told them everything expect for Jongdae. He couldn’t and even if he tried to show them, he couldn’t guarantee they’d see him. The group grabbed dinner afterwards and Yixing went back to the office with Xiu Yan to get his new schedule since he was lost at sea for two days.

 

“You find anything?” She asked.

Yixing shook his head. “Why you ask? You read the files.”

Xiu Yan shook her head lightly and said, “just curious. You seem awfully happy with getting lost at sea.”

“What are you talking about,” he said with a chuckle. “I’m just glad I made it back so soon.”

“Yeah, me too.” She handed the schedule over and smiled. “I’ll always be here if you need someone to listen.”

Yixing let out a short laugh. “What’s with the sentimentalism, boss. I’m fine, but I’ll keep you to your word.”

“I’m not your boss,” Xiu Yan scoffed. “Now go get some rest,” she said as she shooed him with her folder.

 

Yixing laughed and waved goodbye to her before he headed back to his apartment. He beelined to his room the moment he got home and crashed into his mattress. He let out a groan as he rolled to lay on his side. He wanted to tell them, but he also didn’t. Who’d believe him if they couldn’t see Jongdae? Jongdae. Yixing was going to meet him at dawn tomorrow. Well, he might as well catch up on some sleep before he had to get up again.

 

The next dawn, Yixing went to the dock and meet up with Jongdae. He told him that Xue Fu was near the lake waiting for them. Jongdae swam to the lake and Yixing got in his car and drove over. Xue Fu was exactly as she’d been described in the book and apparently Zhi Qian was in Shanghai too. She told him about how humans used to be able to see their realm long ago until one day they couldn’t. She didn’t know why either, but it seemed that if they pulled a human into their realm some could see their realm. He’d left that topic there and asked her about her story with Zhi Qian. Yixing stayed until he had to head to the laboratory.

 

For the next two weeks, Yixing did his fieldwork routinely and chatted with Jongdae and listening to him sing while out in the sea. He’d started getting up fifteen minutes earlier to buy breakfast from the local food stands. Jongdae liked them a lot and he didn’t need to get groceries.

 

“What’s this?” Asked Jongdae.

“It’s an orange,” replied Yixing as he handed one over to Jongdae.

Jongdae took a bite into the orange and scrunched up his face.

“It’s bitter.”

Yixing bent over laughing. “That’s cause you’re supposed to peel the skin off first.”

“Why would you do that?”

“Well you don’t like the taste of the skin, right? So, peel it so you can eat the inside. It’s sweet,” Yixing handed over a piece of his orange.

Jongdae stared at the orange quizzically and then at Yixing. Yixing nodded and gestured for Jongdae to try it.

“It’s sweet,” Jongdae stretched his hand out, “another.”

 

Yixing laughed and handed over his peeled orange to Jongdae. If Jongdae liked, Yixing would bring him all the food in the world for him. If it could mean he’d get to see him smile that brightly every time. Yixing wondered if falling in love with someone’s story was the same thing as falling in love with the person himself? Yixing loved the Jongdae he read about from Sheng Xi’s recollections, but now that he’d come face to face with Jongdae he didn’t know anymore. He was in love with the stories and depictions of the character, but did he love them?

 

“Hey, Yixing,” said Jongdae.

“Hmm.”

“Does your friend want to meet Wei Long? She said something about dragon, right?”

Yixing looked away. “I don’t think that’s a good idea, Jongdae.”

“Why?” Asked Jongdae as he stuffed more orange pieces into his mouth.

“You said they might not see your realm even if you pulled them in, right?”

Jongdae lowered his head and nodded.

“I’m going to head back now, I’ll see you the next dawn,” said Yixing as he picked up the orange peels.

“Okay, bye-bye Xing Xing”

Yixing chuckled as he waved goodbye. He headed back to the laboratory and it was back to routine. You have to bear the lifestyle you chose for yourself. He was a marine biologist and he had to act like one. He went to sit at his desk in the office.

 

“You take any detours, Yixing?”

“No way boss, why would I do that,” Yixing chuckled.

“I feel like your time out sampling is increasing each day,” she said as she flipped through some reports. “And don’t call me boss.”

“I’m just being careful,” he replied.

Xiu Yan nodded. “So, no one you should introduce to us?”

Yixing choked on his tea and tried to calm down. “Where’d you get that idea from, bo – Xiu Yan-jie.”

“You look like you’re in love, or at least your head seems to be in the clouds every time you get back from sampling,” she took a sip of her coffee. “So I thought maybe someone’s tripped our Xing Xing,” she said with a smirk.

Yixing let out a stiff chuckle and shook his head. “No, I’m just – just, very glad to be back on land.”

“Hmm,” was all she responded with.

“Yeah,” Yixing said tentatively.

 

By the end of his shift, the night had darkened and Yixing got ready to head out. He wondered what he should get for breakfast tomorrow.

“Yixing,” Xiu Yan called out.

“Yeah, jie what is it?”

“Did you get groceries yet?” She asked.

“Ah, no not yet. I’ve just been getting breakfast at the stands and ordering take out,” Yixing said while rubbing his neck.

Xiu Yan sighed. “I know it’s too early for you to make your own breakfast, but at least eat healthier meals later in the day.”

“Yes mam,” Yixing saluted only to be met with a flying pen.

“Get going then,” she waved him off.

 

* * *

 

 

As he was heading out, Yixing heard a couple of interns chattering. He didn’t really have a thing for eavesdropping, but he stopped in his tracks when the interns mentioned researching mermaids for a corporation. Had they caught him? How?

 

“Hey,” Yixing said as he walked closer to the interns.

“Oh, hello Dr.Yixing,” replied an intern and the others followed in suit.

“I just overheard you guys back there,” he pointed behind him. “Who’s doing the research, you said?”

“Oh, it’s Dr. Wang, sir,” one of the interns said.

 

Yixing nodded and bid them farewell. The moment he was out of sight Yixing dashed. It couldn’t be, no one could see Jongdae. How did they manage to catch a merfolk? The heels of his shoes clacked loudly against the smooth floor. The moment Yixing reached the office he barged in and walked to his colleague in question.

 

“Jia Er, you can’t do this.”

Jia Er put down his sandwich and turned to face him. “Hello to you too Xing-ge,” he said.

“You can’t do this,” repeated Yixing.

“Do what?”

“The merfolk, you can’t let them know,” Yixing said with his jaws set.

“What man, you jealous or something?” Jia Er asked with a smirk.

Yixing shook his head and stepped closer. “No, but you can’t do this. They’re just taking advantage, they’re not doing it for science –”

“Damn, I didn’t know you hated movie studios like that,” he said.

“What?”

“What you mean, what?” Jia Er raised his brows. “You barged in to tell me not to help them with their character designs, right?”

Yixing took a step back and cocked his head to the side. “Wait, you got an offer from a movie studio?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. “They’re making a movie about a lost city in the sea or something,” Jia Er said with a shrug.

“Oh.”

Jia Er chuckled and took a bite out of his sandwich. “What you think it was, ge.”

“No, it’s nothing,” Yixing shook his head. “And don’t speak with your mouth full.”

Jia Er waved him off. “Aren’t you supposed to get groceries or something?”

“Yeah, I am” he nodded stiffly. “I’m heading out now. Bye.”

 

Jia Er snorted and waved goodbye. Yixing stepped out and headed back to his apartment with harsh steps. He shut his door and leaned against it. Yixing ran his fingers through his hair and sighed as he sat on the floor. Yixing wondered when he wanted to hold all the things he learned to himself instead of sharing it. He wondered why he isn’t shouting to the world that what we’ve heard from fairy tales were all real. If he were honest, he’d say it was because he feared being ridiculed and left behind once again. But he wasn’t, and so he told himself it was for fear that Jongdae would be mistreated at facilities or that the world wasn’t ready for this kind of reveal. Neither was incorrect and yet Yixing’s nose twisted in a sneer at his own dishonesty. Yixing had tried so hard to understand how a merfolk like Jongdae could exist like a necessity as a marine biologist. It wasn’t a necessity to understand existence. It was a necessity to love what existed.

He was too tired to think through everything so Yixing went to shower and call it a day.

 

The next day, Yixing got up lugging his body out of bed. He randomly ordered breakfast and headed to the dock. He needed to sort things out, with himself. When he arrived, he was greeted with Jongdae’s voice. It was as ethereal as usual and more so than he’d read in Sheng Xi’s book. Jongdae stopped singing to wave at Yixing.

 

“Hey, Jongdae.”

“Xing Xing, what did you bring?” Asked Jongdae.

“Uh,” Yixing paused to look at the contents in the bag, “steamed buns and dumplings.”

Jongdae lifted his head and sniffed, “smells good.”

 

Yixing sat on the edge and ate breakfast with Jongdae. The sea breeze and waves crashing normally calmed Yixing, but he was on edge today.

 

“Hey, Jongdae”

“Hm?”

“You journeyed with Sheng Xi for a, while right. How was it?” asked Yixing.

Jongdae swallowed his food and smiled up at Yixing. “It was fun. It’s fun with friends.”

Yixing nodded slowly and stared into Jongdae’s eyes.

“Do you want to go with me?” he asked softly.

Jongdae smiled even brighter, the tips of his mouth almost reaching his ears.

“Yeah!” He nodded enthusiastically.

Yixing lowered his gaze and smiled. “Let’s go then.”

Jongdae leaned closer and asked, “now?”

Yixing chuckled and shook his head.

“That’d be nice, but I’d need a few days to get ready for a journey.”

 

Jongdae nodded and giggled. Yixing started laughing and Jongdae followed suit. It was a lovely day. Yixing wanted to leave now, but he held responsibilities to his friends and family to at least tell them he was leaving. He filed his resignation letter that very day and he promised them to have a farewell party before he left. He couldn’t get tickets to Changsha on such short notice, so Yixing left that to a later date.

 

You have to bear the lifestyle you chose for yourself. Yixing had repeated these words to himself all these years and finally he can believe them. He promised his mother to be successful and face reality. He became a marine biologist and he made it, but he could not bear it. It was not the life he’d chosen for himself, but the life he’d lived to appease those who loved him. Meeting Jongdae made Yixing realize he’d never given up hope and all that he’d lived through were what he had to bear to get to his goal. Jongdae had carried Yixings hope for him when he’d locked it away. But now, now Yixing could carry that hope himself.

 

In these intertwined chapters, Jongdae had given him the strength and courage to put the pieces he’d cut off years ago back together. The loneliness, ridicule, pressure, and lies, he’d bear them all again if it meant achieving his dream. Human beings can’t live forever and Yixing wasn’t an exception, he couldn’t spend an eternity with Jongdae. How long his life was didn’t matter to him, he only needed to fill in the void with meaning, not years. Yixing closed his eyes and breathed deeply. He picked up his phone and hit the call button. The ring back tone lulled through the silent apartment.

 

“Hello”

“Hey mom,” Yixing said.

“Did something happen?” she asked.

“Mom, I’m quitting my job.”

The line was silent.

“I’m going to go on a,” Yixing paused, “I guess you could call it an expedition.”

A deep sigh came through the other line. “Honey, is this about that dream you had when you were ten? You’re already in your late twenties. I thought you were set on being a marine biologist.”

Yixing took a deep breath, “I settled for that, but I can’t anymore.”

“Xing-ah, I’m not saying this to berate you, but my son, I love you and this is –”

“I know that I’m your son and treasure, but I am not yours. I am not an organ in your body and that you can’t live without. Ma –”

“If you know how much I love you, why are you still leaving?” She asked.

“I still love you mom, I always will. But I need to do this even if it means I have to leave –”

“When,” she said.

Yixing fuddled his fingers and sighed. “Tomorrow,” he said.

“Alright,” he heard her sigh on the other end of the line.

“Call Grandma before you leave.” Yixing hummed. “And take care of yourself,” she said.

“I’ll stop by Changsha before I leave,” he said. Yixing smiled in relief at the sound of her chuckling.

“You better, young man,” his mother retorted. “I love you.”

“Love you too, Ma.”

 

Yixing set his phone down beside him. He rested his palm over his eyes and laughed. He was really doing this after sixteen years.

 

* * *

 

 

How do you move on? You move on when your heart finally understands that there is no turning back.

 

There is no turning back and Yixing finally understands as he set foot onto his ship. He was allowed to do this, to walk away and leave this place. He was going to quit something that he didn’t really love and start over on this ship. Travel the world with Jongdae and meet many others along the way. Yixing had tossed aside his soul for fear of abandonment but he didn’t fear anymore, he only had hope. Hope that one day all those who had believed could continue believing and that he’d be able to help on their journey. Yixing didn’t want to leave behind his family and friends, but he wanted to leave behind who he’d become and look for another self.

 

"You ready for our journey, Jongdae."


End file.
